Last update:5/14/97

Don't want to dance? Don't know how to dance? Just plain anti-social for the evening? Don't want to do certain routines that competitors do?

Then you need these list of excuses from the Ballroom Dancer's Excuse Shirt (image of shirt layout here) derived from the Skydiver's Excuse Shirt:

Brain lock.
That's too sleazy.
Bad music.
My partner tripped.
I don't do the Marilyn Wiggle.
I forgot what to do.
Someone took my slot.
Someone stole my partner.
I'm broke.
I'm just a beginner.
It's too hot.
It's too cold.
There are too many snobs on the floor.
No lead.
No follow.
I haven't practiced.
I did that on purpose.
I had only two hours of sleep last night.
I only dance international style.
My teacher is spying on me.
I'm not ready.
My feet hurt.
I don't know this dance.
I'm exhausted.
He cut me off.
Floor is too slippery.
Music is too slow.
Music is too fast.
I'm too white for this dance.
Missed the beat.
My heel fell off.
I lost my glasses.
These people are too serious.
Pardon me, but, you are standing on my foot.
I was scared.
You'd be good, too, if your parents bought your lessons.

Dancing is a high risk activity and your analytical brain functions can be seriously impaired or lost as a result of your participation in dancing, parties, and related activities.

Michael Wright
Website Editor